My New Career

Following an excellent idea @rhythmnation posted on Facebook last night, I'm embarking on a new career of not doing crime. There is so much more to this business that not people-smuggling. You can extend it to almost any cash crime.

First up, I've invoiced the Attorney-General's department for not robbing the bank in my local shopping mall. Have made the terms COND (cash on non-delivery) as it seems this is their preferred operational method of settling invoices for services not provided.

I'm expecting a government officer with a big sack of cash to come round to my place anytime now. Should I invite him in for tea? Or is it best I keep the relationship purely business?

I have some questions for my accountant friends.

Do you think I can claim a tax deduction for any expenses I've incurred by not robbing banks?

Could I negative gear my investment in not robbing banks by claiming the amounts I don't steal as losses?